I was just sipping the green tea that I have painstakingly replaced my beloved morning coffee with (I will begrudgingly admit that I prefer the slow release of energy compared to the buzzed up jitters that a coffee usually provides me with, though damn, I miss coffee) and considering topics for a new blog when it occurred to me that I’m always drawn to writing about smut and, actually, it’s entirely possible that people might be curious about the things which make up the one percent of my personality which isn’t entirely sex-obsessed. Gosh, that was a long and terrible sentence. I hope you didn’t struggle to read it as much as I (clearly) struggled to write it but hey, as you’ll soon find out, the spirit of this blog is slightly more ‘go with the flow’ than usual. What would be the best way to share the other aspects of myself that you don’t see on the sexy side of twitter, my treasured readers? An autobiography titled ‘Darla Blake, the former years’, charting a blow by blow account of everything that has made me the person I am today?
No - a random question generator I found on the internet! I hope you enjoy…
What book are you currently reading?
‘Grand Hotel Europa’ by Ilya Leonard Pfeijffer. I go through phases with the types of books that I read and, having just read two books about haunted houses back to back (The Haunting of Hill House and What Moves the Dead), I again wanted a story capturing someone’s stay somewhere weird, but maybe minus the ghosts this time. This book also initially stood out to me because, upon a visit to Prague many years ago, a girlfriend and I briefly stayed at a ‘Grand Hotel Praha’, which looked beautiful from the outside but revealed itself to be a somewhat eccentric ‘has-been’ establishment, far removed from its glory days, once we’d had the experience of actually spending a night there (this was at least 10 years ago so maybe it would be different today, though I kind of hope not - the weirdness was part of its charm). I was hoping that Grand Hotel Europa would describe much the same type of a place and, so far, I’m not at all disappointed!
What was the last movie you watched?
The Shining. For about the millionth time.
Dance in the rain or stay cosy inside?
Depends. If I’m alone, I love to walk (or run, but never dance - I’m English for goodness sake) in the rain. If I have company, cosy inside. Unless they also like to walk in the rain, in which case let’s get wet outside and then retreat back inside and have a warm shower together to heat up.
What is the best concert you have ever been to?
A tie between Hilary Hahn playing The Lark Ascending and then Prokofiev’s 1st Violin Concerto (particularly because this was at a time when we were just emerging from the various lockdowns and it was the first live event I attended since pre-pandemic, in addition to me being a huge Hilary Hahn fan - it felt incredibly emotional!) and Evgeny Kissin playing a solo concert at the Barbican. I’m also going to see a concert next week which I suspect may well make it into this hall of fame; time will tell!
What do you enjoy most about your job?
The adventure of it all, honestly. Meeting exciting people, doing exciting things, having exciting sex, making connections which excite me, everything!
Most likely to binge watch?
Honestly I’m not a huge show watcher in general, but I loved The Sopranos (and secretly want to overhaul my entire aesthetic to mobster wife)
What is something you’d like to learn?
I used to speak a fair amount of Czech (random, I know - it’s because I used to work at a bookshop and they sold a book called ‘Learn Czech!’, so I did. What can I say - I’m easily led) but have forgotten pretty much all of it apart from being able to clumsily ask for an ice cream. I’d love to re-learn some day! That, and Beethoven’s Appassionata, which, after much badgering, I was finally persuaded to start studying two weeks ago. I’m terrified and it’s already breaking me.
Best way to get over a breakup?
Shagging. Every time.
If you could completely get rid of an entire season, which would it be?
Winter. Bleugh. Happy Spring Equinox by the way - thank the baby Jesus it’s finally here! I’d happily forgo Christmas for the rest of my life if it meant not having to spend months in the cold and endless grey of winter. Spring, however, is my absolute favourite time of year (and, coincidentally, the season I’m most horny. Make of that what you will)
What would your dream house look like?
A little bungalow with a garden for me and my sweet dog, somewhere quiet. I dream about this every day!
Do you believe aliens exist?
Absolutely. I’m quite fascinated with everything Universe-y, and I find the idea that we are the only intelligent life in (possibly, probably) infinite space to be…unlikely, to say the least.
What one story about your childhood best explains the person you are today?
I’m sure I’ve written about this somewhere before. When I was about seven or eight I borrowed a book from my school library (I think it was one of the Goosebumps books, which I was obsessed with) and didn’t return it on time. I got so worried about the prospect of returning it late that I felt the only thing I could do, the single best option I had, was to go and BURY THE BOOK IN THE WOODS. Which I did. My problem solving skills (especially when the problem isn’t really much of a problem to begin with) are still just as baffling tbh.
What’s a pet peeve that you would make illegal if you could?
Boarding before allowing people off the tube. Grrrrrrrr.
What popular trend bothers you?
Honestly, social media. I think it’s making us all a bit weird.
Have you ever met a person with an unfortunate name?
I went to school with someone with THE most unfortunate name. This is a bit of a shit story really because naming them online would be indiscreet (I refuse to believe that there would more than one person in the world with this name) so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Poor guy. I hope he changed it when he was old enough.
What’s the worst thing you ever did as a kid?
Burying a library book in the woods, obviously.
First car?
An old E-reg racing green mini metro with red seat belts and red racing stripes down the sides even though it was in no fit state to race anything. I got it for free as my uncle was a mechanic and a customer of his who’d had it for years and years was just looking to get rid of it. It did me proud for a number of years and I was heartbroken when it finally gave up the ghost.
What is your favourite smell?
OK, I know this one’s a bit strange, I KNOW. I should say something like aftershave or cedar scented candles. But no. It’s actually those firelighter chunks that you use to start a fire. Don’t judge me - I can’t be the only one.
If you could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Oh, this would be devastating. But, if I had to choose - though the pedantic classical musician in me compels me to state for the record that it’s a piece, not a song - probably Rachmaninoff’s third piano concerto. So emotionally intense and powerful.
Most cringe-inducing pick up line you’ve ever heard?
Honestly, I’m so charmed by anyone trying to use a pick up line, it could be toe curlingly cringe worthy and I’d still be totally endeared.
This was fun! Should I do it again sometime? Is entirely useless information about me useful? Happy spring!
Yours,
Darla xx